December 5
Waiting is not just hanging around; it is not just idle time. For me, since 1993, it has been the time and space granted to me to learn, to deeply explore both my inner and outer worlds and a time to be open to answers. God has been present in and through it all.
In 1993 a news story broke into my consciousness and shook up my sense of self. I had already been asking some questions, even before, as internal frustrations had resurfaced. This was the right time; God heard my cry and found me, waiting in the middle of anxiety. God found me, though I had for a long while gone far from Him. God gave me patience. I understood this was going to be a process, for which I needed to wait on Him to guide the way. I opened myself to possibility. God, in His wisdom, provided direction, led me to people and to books which helped me to explore both my past and my future.
1997 was a year in which I kept a New Year's Resolution. The first part of my waiting was completed.
I was ready and God provided the wherewithal to move to the next level, knowing as I did that I would again be asked to wait for a time. I truly believe that God was in the courage I needed to totally shake up the old life and begin with the new. But, as I said before, I also needed to wait again and grow into it. God gave me the support of accepting and loving friends, both old ones and new ones. This time of my life reminded me of a very old song I used to sing as a child, one of the stanzas of which is: “Make
new friends, but keep the old, for one is silver but the other is gold.”
In the year 2000, I kept what is probably the most important New Year's Resolution, at least for me. God again provided me with the wherewithal to accomplish it after the necessary passage of time, of waiting and of growing. I feel complete and whole in myself, like never before. I found new purpose and am able to live a long-held, cherished dream. The waiting before led to the right time and the right place and God's answer thus had its greatest meaning and impact.
While I am now going through a time of change in my life not of my own choosing, I experience a certain amount of peace. Yet, fear is never far from someone who is unemployed. However, I know it wasn't my fault and perhaps that is some of why I can sleep at night despite the uncertainties. St. Paul's community is also part of the peace I feel, now, and part of the silver and gold friends in my life. God is still waiting beside me, exploring beside me.
Quinton Johansen
In 1993 a news story broke into my consciousness and shook up my sense of self. I had already been asking some questions, even before, as internal frustrations had resurfaced. This was the right time; God heard my cry and found me, waiting in the middle of anxiety. God found me, though I had for a long while gone far from Him. God gave me patience. I understood this was going to be a process, for which I needed to wait on Him to guide the way. I opened myself to possibility. God, in His wisdom, provided direction, led me to people and to books which helped me to explore both my past and my future.
1997 was a year in which I kept a New Year's Resolution. The first part of my waiting was completed.
I was ready and God provided the wherewithal to move to the next level, knowing as I did that I would again be asked to wait for a time. I truly believe that God was in the courage I needed to totally shake up the old life and begin with the new. But, as I said before, I also needed to wait again and grow into it. God gave me the support of accepting and loving friends, both old ones and new ones. This time of my life reminded me of a very old song I used to sing as a child, one of the stanzas of which is: “Make
new friends, but keep the old, for one is silver but the other is gold.”
In the year 2000, I kept what is probably the most important New Year's Resolution, at least for me. God again provided me with the wherewithal to accomplish it after the necessary passage of time, of waiting and of growing. I feel complete and whole in myself, like never before. I found new purpose and am able to live a long-held, cherished dream. The waiting before led to the right time and the right place and God's answer thus had its greatest meaning and impact.
While I am now going through a time of change in my life not of my own choosing, I experience a certain amount of peace. Yet, fear is never far from someone who is unemployed. However, I know it wasn't my fault and perhaps that is some of why I can sleep at night despite the uncertainties. St. Paul's community is also part of the peace I feel, now, and part of the silver and gold friends in my life. God is still waiting beside me, exploring beside me.
Quinton Johansen