I like to be prepared for things. I like to know what to expect. I make lists and plans, and frequently consult my calendar. I am not a “play it by ear” kind of person. For my job, I frequently have to travel to schools in various parts of the state to present programs. I prepare carefully for these trips. I check the teaching materials I need to take and make sure I have the address, phone number and all the necessary contact information for the school. Since I have neither a smart phone nor GPS, I carefully study and plan out my route – using Mapquest as well as an old-fashioned paper map. I generously plan the travel time, allowing for traffic delays and the possibility that I might take a wrong turn trying to find the school. I make sure I factor in the time needed once I arrive at the school to be checked in at the office, find the classroom and get my program set up. If I have to travel to Fairfield County during the morning rush hour, I allow a lot of extra time for traffic and delays. If I am heading off the Interstate into a rural part of the state, I allow extra “getting lost” time. This usually that means I arrive at my destination early, or at least in plenty of time to begin my program as scheduled, without feeling rushed. Most of the time, all my preparations help me feel in control of the situation. I have been doing these programs for over ten years and I enjoy this part of my job. I enjoy exploring different parts of the state and visiting different schools, but in spite of all my careful preparations, I am always anxious and nervous about finding my way and getting to the school on time. No matter how often I take a program “on the road,” and no matter how carefully I prepare, there are things that are not in my control. Even though I do these programs all the time, I still worry about the possibility of car problems, a traffic accident, construction detour, or snowstorm. My goal for this Advent is to prepare, but also to work at being less anxious and to trust that God is in control of the things I cannot control. It is important to prepare and to be ready. But sometimes we also need to “let go, and let God.”
Mary Muller
Mary Muller